I used to be a pretty regular blogger as evidenced by this blog. It was never a work project or anything like that. I just have always really liked the sound of my own voice (sight of my own text?) and as a result I just happily hammer out writings in my free time and if the moon is in the right house I'll feel good enough to publish it here.
After finishing my book draft, and sending it off to a few reviewers I felt like the time had come to get back into 'normal' writing. Blog posts, short stories and little games have always been the bread and butter of my downtime.
So, imagine my shock and horror when none of it came back. It felt like my novel had emptied me and somewhere along that path I had just written all the words that I was going to get in this lifetime. I've spent a lot of the past year(s) just feeling really sick to my chest that the magic is gone.
It wasn't that ideas weren't coming to me. I wasn't getting the usual fire hose of them but the concepts still found their way into my head. But when I sat down at my computer and said to myself 'write, damn you' it all came out flat and without any of my signature pizazz. The worst had befallen me, I had become boring.
I can't even say I get why I'm writing this. I don't really feel like I'm back. Weirdly, these words feel like the most charming I've been in text form for awhile. But it still doesn't feel 'right', it doesn't read to me like my own writing. Maybe this is all just a struggle against myself that I'm putting out there to show that I'm not physically dead as much as creatively so. Maybe I'm hoping by just writing something I'll shake whatever's blocking me loose.
Mostly, I guess, it's because I have some notes for some informational posts that I'd like to get out there but I want to apologize in advance for being unable to make them very funny.
This is all for me, as it always has been.
After writing this I also discovered that my blogging engine has a version so old it was fully deprecated in 2021. So, I guess I'll be updating that too.